Made it through another week...

Day 47: My little bit of happy ~ finding Caleb's balloon!

Friday was Caleb's 7 week "birthday". Today we would have made it to 25 weeks and my boy would be a giant compared to the size he was at birth! It is still so hard to believe we will never bring him home, but this new normal is starting to settle a bit more comfortably with each passing day. There are of course days which are still quite heavy, but I don't cry every day and I don't feel panicky every day.

On our way back home from town that evening I realized that the snow had finally melted away and that I would finally be able to see Caleb's grave again, so I made a quick stop to the cemetary before AWANA. I thought I was going to try to retrieve remnants of the balloon we had placed on his grave, but to my surprise I found it still there, fully inflated. The snow had pushed it over at an odd angle, but hadn't squeezed the air out or popped it! I was beyond thrilled to find it there! So, instead of retrieving the empty balloon to put in Caleb's box I instead righted it and left it there where it belongs. The flowers are still there as well, but they have definately seen better days! I really need to order his marker, but The Super Hubbie and I haven't had a chance down and come to an agreement on what we want.

I saw this little baby outfit last night at Walmart, and it was like a punch in the gut. I wanted to buy it for Caleb. I almost did, just for the satisfaction of doing so, but decided against it.

Today I started a new Bible study with some women at church, and I am very excited about it! We have all been hemming and hawing about starting a Bible study and finally decided to just do it! We are doing Experiencing God, which I've really wanted to do for some time. I have heard only wonderful things about it!

In preparation for doing my first lesson I went out tonight and bought some pens.

I am a total pen snob. There, I said it. I haven't done much in the way of Bible journaling for the past few years because my kids always steal my pens and I will not use regular ole pens. Plus having a baby made it really difficult to sit down with my Bible, a journal, and a pen. But I'm going to start again! I just need to get a journal... kind of forgot that when I was out. I'm hoping the pens I got work out... my favorite pen maker stopped making my favorite pens so I have to find a new favorite. Not cool!!!