In The Potter's Hands, Experiencing God day 3...

Day 49: My little bit of happy ~ snuggling Hosea to sleep during church.

Tonight's Bible study lesson was so convicting. This actually comes as a relief to me. My initial impression of this Bible study was that for me it would be more milk than meat, but my position on that is that even the most mature Christian needs some milk once in a while. It's good to constantly review and simmer in what God has taught us so we wont rot.

I have been a rotting Christian in a lot of ways. I have allowed the stresses and exhaustion of parenting all of these children to interfere with my walk with God. I have stresses that other mother's don't have... mothering 2 children who I did not meet until they were 8 and 9 years old, as if they were my own. When we married we each suddenly went from 2 kids to 4, none of them babies. And I have stayed home with them full time, fully investing myself in them. It has been lonely, and it has been stressful. There have been days when I felt like the burden of mothering these children was more than I could bear. There have been days when I scared myself with the realization that I could easily walk out the door and never look back, so exhausted and frustrated was I with the job set before me.

All because I was failing to make time for my Lord. "Take My yolk upon you, for My yolk is easy, and My burden is light. I failed to rest in Him. He had brought me so far, and then I foolishly set out to make it on my own apart from Him.

Page 17 of the Experiencing God study declares the following:

My understanding of a servant is depicted by the potter and the clay (see Jer. 18:1-6). The clay must do two things:

1. The clay has to be molded. It has to be responsive to the potter so he can make it into an instrument of his choosing.

2. The clay has to remain in the potter's hand. When the potter has finished making the instrument of his choosing, that instrument has no ability to do what it wants. It has to remain in the potter's hand to be effective. Suppose the potter molds the clay into a cup. The cup has to remain in the potter's hands so he can use that cup the way he chooses.

I did the first. But I failed at the second. Completely and utterly failed. So it is with meekness and humility that I place myself back into my Potter's hands so He can fix the cracks caused by misuse of the vessel He has made, so that He can use me for HIS intended purpose.

"Speak Lord, for Your servant is listening..." ~ 1 Samuel 3:11