The biting "stage"...

There's a post on a debate board I read at about whether or not biting is a "normal stage". I typed up my response then decided not to post it but I didn't want to waste all that writing either. So... here it is!


Some children bite when they are teething. I have a child who used to accidentally bite when giving kisses as a toddler because she was so intense and got carried away. Some children bite out of anger and frustration. I also had one of these but fortunately I nipped it in the bud. It's certainly normal for them to try it at least once or twice.

There is definately a stage where they are unable to understand that it causes pain to the person being bit. I think whether biting becomes a "stage" or not depends with how it is dealt with by the parent and/or child care provider when the child first trys biting people.

If a toddler doesn't learn that biting is not acceptable it's going to be a lot harder to curb the behavior when he decides to use it in his arsenal of ways to lash out. Toddlers and preschoolers need supervised socialization to guide them in learning how to navigate personal relationships and develop problem solving skills.

In the day care and preschool situations I've worked in many of the "teachers" tended to gab during play time rather than working with and interacting with the children. I've seen moms do this at public play areas and private play groups as well.

I do think it is learned in that if he is succesful at biting in anger and has the satisfaction of punishing the person who has offended him and the caregiver does not react in a way that deters him he has nothing to motivate him not to do it again. If the bite is worth the consequence why would he stop, KWIM? Instant gratification.

If the caregiver is hands on, watching and paying attention, they can stop and redirect the biter before contact is ever made. I have found that to be the very best way to curb and stop biting dead in it's tracks. And if the biter is succesful the consequnce needs to be swift, immediate, firm, and consistant.
~ A former biter (...who still likes to bite but refrains...)