When Sarah and I lay down to nurse she likes to caress my belly and rib cage with her open hand. It is just the sweetest and most tender thing and Elijah never did it when he was a baby. While I was nursing her to sleep tonight she was doing it and I thought "someday I'll be wrinkly and gross and no one will want to touch me at all".
Unexpectedly I was filled with an intense sense of despair and loneliness. I know Gene will still want to hold me and touch me when I'm old and gross, but things being what they are he is most likely going to die before me.
Sometimes I really hate this corruptable sin scarred world we live in. It is so bitterly sweet, with joy and sorrow so closely entwined they can never be unraveled from each other.
My heart aches for all the young women (and men!) who are trapped in aging bodies. I don't want to get old. Maranatha, even so... come Lord Jesus!
"Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment. So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless." ~ Ecclesiastes 11:9,10
About Me
- mothergoose518
- Somewhat Crunchy, Old Fashioned, Fundamental Bible Believing Christian.
Full time stay at home mom to many.
(Two by choice, Six by birth, Eight in Heaven)
Infertility, miscarriage, and stillbirth survivor.
College student. Relaxed homeschooler. Molder of hearts and minds. Cheerer of ball games.
Lover of books. Stringer of words. Wanna be photographer.
Passionate lover and helper of my Super Hubbie!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
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