Above all else, guard your heart...

I am sitting here reading Proverbs 4, trying to disect it and decide which pieces to quote here. I am focusing on the parts that speak to a very important part of raising our children as they approach and go through their teen years - guarding their heart.

When did we stop teaching our children to guard their hearts? When did it become widely acceptable for children as young as 12 and 13 years old, some even younger, to have "serious" "commited" "romantic" relationships?! What makes us think that this is appropriate? What makes us think they have any idea what they are doing? How does this prepare them for life?

Dating/courting should be preparation for marriage. What 13 year old is prepared for marriage? What 16 or 17 year old is for that matter? Heck, you show me a 21 year old who is prepared for marriage and I will show you a rare exception. (Says the woman who was first married at 19... see how well that worked out for me? 'Nuff said!)

No wonder spouses don't trust each other any more. No wonder our children have lost their virtue. No wonder our daughters suffer the devastation of a broken heart before they even leave high school.

We are teaching our children that it is ok to give their heart away. We have failed to provide boundaries of protection around our children. We have failed to teach them how very precious the relationship they are trying to emulate is, how very sacred and special. We have failed to teach them of the heartache they cause themselves not only now but in their future marriage when they give away their hearts, and often inevitably their bodies, too soon. We smile and say "isn't that cute?!" while our children press against each other and kiss in public and then become angry when it all comes crashing down around them.

Mothers of teenagers - the blame lies with YOU! You who did nothing to stop it. You who gave your son or daughter the impression that their relationship was a good and normal part of the teenage experience. You who did not monitor your child's activities closely.

As for my own teenagers... There is no cell phone, no texting, no unsupervised internet. no IMing, no myspace, no Facebook. There will be no expectation of privacy as long as they live under this roof and no friends of either sex will ever be allowed in the bedrooms. There will be no visiting the homes of parents who do not hold the same standards. They will be in bed at a decent hour, up at a decent hour, and their time will not be spent in idleness. We will know where they are, who they are with, and what they are doing at all times. They will go no where without a chaperone until they are finished with high school. They are being taught how precious a kiss is and how difficult it will be when they marry to know that their spouses kisses, etc. have been given to another. They are being taught that kissing is reserved for someone you are preparing to marry, or have married. They are being taught to guard their hearts, and to think carefully about anyone they consider as a marriage partner before becoming involved.

Parents, do your job! Monitor your children. Censor their exposure to TV, internet, music, etc. Hold a tight rein on them. Monitor their speech, their friendships, and activities. Will they chafe? Of course! Will they appreciate it? Not immediately. Is it hard work? Terribly! Will it pay off in the end? Absolutely! All they'll be missing is a heart ache.

"My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths. When you walk, you won’t be held back; when you run, you won’t stumble. Take hold of my instructions; don’t let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life. Don’t do as the wicked do, and don’t follow the path of evildoers. Don’t even think about it; don’t go that way. Turn away and keep moving... The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, which shines ever brighter until the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like total darkness. They have no idea what they are stumbling over. My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words. Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body. Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Avoid all perverse talk; stay away from corrupt speech. Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil." ~ Proverbs 4: 10-15, 20-27