Where there is no vision, the people perish...

One of my Facebook friends posted an article tonight that I found very disagreeable. The basic gist was that our children should not be expected to leave home at the age of 18. The article made the claim that it was a new thing to expect this.

I really disagree. I mean really really.

Adolescence is something new that our western culture has created. It wasn't that long ago that people were on their own and starting their own families at that age - very successfully. A hundred years ago an unmarried girl was considered a spinster at 20! Imagine that!!!

Instead of teaching our children independence and giving them wings to soar on we have coddled and enabled them making them far to dependent on us for far too long.

Does this mean that we should push them to go before they are ready? No. But we should be giving them the tools to be ready. This is nearly impossible to do when we are farming our children out to be raised in herds starting in preschool up until they graduate from high school.

All the life lessons and skills we are supposed to be teaching them can not possibly be taught when they are away from us all day and the result is that we have children who are not ready to leave our nests when they should be. This is the beauty of homeschooling! Being a SAHM is not enough. It is good, but if you do not have stay at home children then the mother's job is being hindered. When the children and mother are home together EVERYTHING becomes a learning opportunity. Life becomes a classroom. Spirituality, morality, personal responsibility, work ethic, etc. all get rolled together into a constant kaleidescope of lessons being taught by those with a personal vested interest in the outcome.

At the age of 18 a child should be READY to leave home. They may stay for a myriad of reasons but if they do they should be contributing to the family and responsible for themselves - working hard, going to school, and paying their own bills and if not a full time student even paying rent. And only for a time. But they should be ready.

If our child is not ready to leave home when they are finished with high school we have only ourselves to blame. If we are doing our jobs right parenting only gets harder as our children approach adulthood and independence. Making a strong work ethic and personal responsibility a part of who they are does not come naturally. It takes a lot of hard work on the part of their parents - particularly the mother who is supposed to be in the home investing that time. It is draining. There is little to no reward. Everyone else seems to be working against the goal you are pursuing just as hard as you are working towards it.

There are many days when I feel like I am wasting my time. That my time would be better spent in the work force. That I am going nowhere fast. That I am failing my children and that they in turn are failing me. But those are feelings. They are not based in truth. Truth is that scripture clearly states that I am to be right here doing what I am doing. My job is not over until they are able to function in the world on their own. I must not allow anything to deviate me from my course. Because in the end their failures are my failures. Their choices are their own, but if they don't know what is expected of them then they will never have a chance.

Thank you Feminist Movement. Thank you Baby Boomers. Thank you liberals who decided you would be better at preparing children for adulthood than their own parents. Thank you mothers who were far to eager to abdicate that responsibility. And thank you fathers who are not willing to be providers so your wives can stay home and rear your children.

"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increaseth: but the righteous shall see their fall. Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." Proverbs 29:15-18

Rod = Strong's H7626 - shebet
rod, staff, branch, offshoot, club, sceptre, tribe

a) rod, staff

b) shaft (of spear, dart)

c) club (of shepherd's implement)

d) truncheon, sceptre (mark of authority)

e) clan, tribe

Reproof = H8433 towkechah

reproof, rebuke, reproved, arguments, misc