If you give a teen a cell phone...

If you buy a teen a cell phone, you will tell him that it is for your purposes and not his.

And if you tell him it is for your purposes and not his you will tell him to keep it plugged in on the microwave when he is at home.

And if you tell him to keep it plugged in on the microwave at home he will think he knows better than you, because after all, he is 14.

And if he thinks he knows better than you he will walk around the yard with his cell phone in his pocket.

And if he walks around the yard with his cell phone in his pocket, it will fall out.

And if it falls out he will not notice it.

And if he does not notice it, it will happen while his father is mowing the yard.

And if it happens while his father is mowing the yard his father will not notice it either.

And if the father does not notice it, he will pulverize it with the lawn mower.

And if the father pulverizes the cell phone with the lawn mower, the teen will wish he had left it plugged in in the house.